He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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