he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
