It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
