I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
