just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize