I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
