So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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