One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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