would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
