With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
