Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
