9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
