Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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