Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
