Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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