I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
