new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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