so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize