sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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