Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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