I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
