I'm so fucking centered right now
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
