i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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