My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
