she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
