"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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