Whod you bang
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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