Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
