Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Randomize