Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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