If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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