I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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