With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
bring money and cleavage
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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