i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize