i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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