I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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