Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
