i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
