hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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