You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
