So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
