you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
