well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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