Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
