i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
