Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize