This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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