So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
