I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize