So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
