I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
