i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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