I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
