I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
