Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Drake has all the answers
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
