she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
